Goodbye my lover; You've been the one for me. {Oneshot}

Nicki had been sick for quiet a while now. A very, very long while. Actually, she was sick before Aubrey left for the war against a different gang, but she never told him. She only started getting weaker after he left. And it had been only two months, two months since he’s left, and now she was bedridden with sickness. And Brey didn’t know a thing about it. She hoped she would get better in time he got back for Wayne’s birthday so she can celebrate it with him and then they’d both announce their engagement at the dinner as planned. If it only had gotten better.

But a feeling loomed over Nicki lately, and she knew she was nearing the end of the torture and pain she was trying to fight off for months now. And she asked for Aubrey. Unable to speak or write without winding up to cough roughly and fall back into unconsciousness weakly, she assigned Wayne to do the job of sending a message to him or calling him and she hoped, prayed silently, that he got it and would just come in time.

It was a really dull morning in Malibu, and Safaree had helped her shower and dress and tried to feed her. Hopelessly, she ate a few bites and prayed that would get her to stop trying because it always just came back. After she was put back into the bed, Nicki gave up on trying to read the book she should be reading and grabbed her phone instead, writing a message to Wayne, and she fell asleep tiredly, unaware of the slight movement of the door to her room as an unexpected guest peeked through the opening.

She wasn’t exactly getting the most peaceful sleep, but given her weak state, all she could do was sleep. It was only a few weeks ago when she became so tired to the extent of immobility. And even her short restless sleeps weren’t exactly as refreshing as sleep should normally be. She always woke up extra tired than before, her body feeling heavier, like a burden she had to carry around. She never considered giving up, even when the pain seizures got too horrible to bare, that she passed out from screaming in pain, or when her stomach wouldn’t give her rest as it rejected all the food that had gotten into her system.

She felt a soft touch against her forehead, but her lids were too heavy to open at all. She tried to swallow thickly, pursing her lips as she took a deeper breath, slowly coming back into consciousness. Nicki felt her hand held warm within the familiar hold she always felt soothed by, and she was encouraged now to open her heavy lids as she turned her head, her brows pulling into a frown as she fluttered her eyes open. Her vision never exactly cleared, but she could see those familiar hazel eyes and the ghost of a smile crossed her lips, “You’re here..” She managed to whisper.

When her vision was finally cleared, her eyes half opened due to her weakness, she couldn’t even open her eyes all the way, but the soft weak blues found his hazel ones before she studied his appearance. He was dressed in his favorite hoodie, and Nicki felt a soft strangled laugh leave her lips, “You look cute in your hoodie.” She commented playfully, her fingers limply squeezing his.

She smiled softly as she felt Aubrey’s thumb stroking the back of her hand, and she took in a deep breath to steady the feeling of nausea that washed over her body relentlessly, her eyes shutting for a minutes, cursing every bite she ate, or force-ate by her best friend earlier that day before her eyes fluttered open again, to find his face, the small smile no matter how much concern the very features of his beautiful face held. She longed to tell him she would be fine, but she had a feeling that fine didn’t just comply in her case. She had become so sick to the extent that she started to loose hope into getting better. She was broken beyond repair, and she didn’t want to give Aubrey any false hope. She didn’t even want him to see her like this. But she missed him so much. His presence now made the familiar ache in her limbs lessen ten times less.

“Yes..the message..” Nicki repeated as he told her that he came as soon as Wayne had messaged him. “I’m sorry..I didn’t tell you myself.” She started, her voice barely over a whisper but audible, at least to him. “I thought I would get better…but it kept getting worse..” She explained, her words cutting off as she coughed dryly, wincing, feeling her scorched up throat moisten before she leaned sideways, clenching her mouth shut as she reached for the napkin she kept beside her on the bed to press it to her mouth, the red tangy blood soaking into the white soft fabric of the napkin, and she tried to keep it hidden from him as she wiped her mouth mouth clean and sighed louder, “Water, please..” Nicki gestured to pitcher and the glass on the stand as her eyes fell shut momentarily.

After he had helped her sip onto the glass and eased her back onto the bed, resuming their previous positions, she smiled as he offered he would be wearing his hoodie now more often, but her mind answered sadly, that’s if you were around more often. She saw the sudden shift in his eyes and she felt her heart shatter within her chest. She didn’t know it would be this hard. “Life’s not fair, Brey. But you have to be strong.” She whispered as she brought his hand to her lips, pressing her lips against every knuckle of his, leaving a soft reassuring kiss there as she still remained staring up at him, fighting the grief that came over her.

Nicki never questioned why she had fallen a victim of an illness that sucked her life and health out of her. She didn’t question why now, when she was only few weeks from accomplishing she had been dreaming of for years now, for years she had been excitedly anticipating, planning how their wedding would be. A small church wedding, they both agreed, since neither liked too much of a party. Then they would both be off to commence their life officially. Why now? Why her? She found herself questioning now, and her eyes welled up with tears as she closed them as Aubrey stroked her cheek. “Don’t ever leave..” She whispered and swallowed thickly, trying to hold away those tears, but it was fruitless. They had already slipped past her lashes and she took in a deep breath. No, she wouldn’t cry. She should be strong. For him.

When she started coughing, Aubrey's arms wrapped around her to carefully help her sit up as she coughed into the napkin, wiping it against her lips, trying to get it off her flesh so hhe wouldn’t see it before she sighed, folding the napkin before clenching it tightly within her hand. Aubrey brought the glass to her lips and she swallowed carefully, wincing as the cold clear liquid touched her throat before she relaxed and sighed softly as he quickly put the glass away and helped her lie down again. Her head turned to him as he sat down again, his fingers wrapping around hers again, this time she felt the desperation and fear in his hold and her eyes welled up again. She didn’t want to be separated from him just yet. She almost started complaining as he got up but she couldn’t really raise her voice much, so she settled into silence as she tried to shift and look at him.

The bed dipped beneath his weight and she smiled at the last memory of a bed dipping beneath their weight before he left. No one knew they’ve done it, went all the way, linked themselves wholly; body, mind, & soul. It was their secret. Nicki felt Aubrey collect her into his arms, easing up the the process of moving for her as all what she did is rest against his chest, curling up beneath the covers that covered her body which was only clad in a flimsy baby blue nightgown. His arms wound around her protectively, as if he could possibly protect her from what had weakened her, but it’s not possible. His hand found hers again, and Nicki couldn’t help but blink away the rest of her tears as she held onto him with all the strength she had. “Mmhmm..” She moved her head softly, she couldn’t help but smile as he kissed the top of her head softly and her eyes fell shut for a second, their breathing in sync together as she relaxed in his arms.

„I will never leave you.“ Nicki’s brows were pulled into a frown as she weakly looked up, blinking once again the tears in her eyes as he promised to never leave her, and a broken sob left her lips weakly. Because she knew it wouldn’t be him leaving her; she would be the one leaving him. She was never going to make it past this. Nicki always heard stories about how people felt it when it was near the end to them, like when her grandfather just woke up and hugged her, and died later that evening. She never really got it, until now. Now she understood. She felt it. The eerie feeling that someone was waiting for her at the foot of her bed, waiting for her to finish her farewell. She felt it and gripped her with steely fear as she buried her face into Aubre'y hoodie, her fingers gripping onto the rough material as hard as they can go. She looked up at him as he wiped her tears away and she sighed softly, swallowing again.

She curled within his protective old, wanting - more like needing it to be effective. She needed to get better for him, but she wasn’t even very sure that would be an option any more. When he wiped away her tears, she hiccuped softly in attempt to hold back the sobs, the jerks of her small body sending slight shocks of pain through her chest before she evened out her breath, relaxing into his arms yet again. Nicki lifted her face to his, mustering up all her strength to speak, “Aubrey..” She started slowly, clearing her throat once, “Show me the ring. You said I don’t get to see it till you propose. I really want to see it.” She pleaded softly as she frowned, tilting her head softly, hoping he had their rings on him. “Please.”

Nicki saw the smile on his face and she couldn’t help but smile in return. He had been blessed with the most beautiful smile, and even when he didn’t smile much, he smiled around her. When he looked down at her and pressed the soft kiss to her forehead, she wanted to change her mind. She couldn’t afford him leaving her side now. Nicki almost started speaking when he moved, but he lay her down gently and started leaving. She swallowed and blinked once, moving her head softly in acknowledgement then she watched as he left the room. Her hand fell over the small cross hanging from the chain around her neck as she closed her eyes, “Please, please…just a little more time..” She whispered weakly, more like begged. Her eyes flashed open when she heard her best friend’s voice. She couldn’t bear looking at Safaree for long. Because Nicki and Safaree had formed the strongest bond ever. Safaree’s eyes lit with realization when he saw hisbest friend. 

Safaree moved and grabbed a dark blue shawl to wrap it then around Nicki’s shoulders, mumbling something about Aubrey seeing too much of her. She couldn’t help but suppress the laughing, wanting to tell her best friend that there was nothing left hidden from his eyes anymore, but instead she started, “Safaree..can you get me the ring..in the drawer..? The one..I got for Brey.” Nicki's eyes traveled weakly to the dresser behind Safaree, and the man nodded, fetching the ring then and pressing it into Nicki’s hand before pecking her cheek softly and leaving the room yet again. She then turned her eyes to stare up at the light blue ceiling, swallowing thickly as she turned the ring in her hands. It was very simple, a golden ring lined with small saphires, just like his eyes, and within its interior were the words forever and always engraved in Latin. She smiled softly then, her eyes fluttering shut for the slightest minute, before Aubrey had her in his arms again.

Her eyes drifted up to his eyes as he grabbed her left hand, and her eyes welled up. She pursed her lips as he slipped the ring onto her finger, and after studying it, she looked up at him with teary eyes, her expression nothing overwhelmed with joy and pain. “Beautiful..” Nicki let out, whether it was a strangled laugh or sob she didn’t know. She pulled herself up against Aubrey's chest, her body’s weight practically all leaned onto him as she picked up his left hand as well, revealing the ring in her hands.She didn’t really know what to say, so she cleared her throat and tried to make her voice as clear as possible. “Aubrey Drake Graham,” She started, her eyes flickering up to his, “I promise to love, cherish, support you through the good and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor…forever and always..” She decided not to use ‘till death do us part’ because it was too ironic. The pain already clenched within Nicki’s chest; her time was running out. But when she looked up at his wide, expectant eyes, she let out a small laugh. “With this ring .. I thy wed.” She then slipped the ring on his finger. Why did she do that, she had no idea. But she was on impulse, and she had to do it. He repeated the same lines, and when she looked up at him, she whispered weakly, “You..may now kiss the…bride.”

Nicki looked up at his face as her smile broadened after they were done with their vows, and she couldn’t help but laugh weakly at how they were both doing this. Brey didn’t hesitate, and he repeated the vows, his eyes never leaving hers, and she felt the sincerity and the love in each and every word he said, she saw him. She saw Aubrey Drake Graham, her best friend, her partner in crime, her lover, her fiance, her husband, her everything. He grinned when she allowed him to kiss. Their kisses were like sneaky forbidden kisses, the deep ones always when the night fell. She was distracted from her sweet thoughts as she felt his lips press against hers, and she tilted her head upward softly to take in all that he could offer, put her part into their kiss. Their last kiss.

She didn’t want to ever leave him. She would do anything, but the pain was too much, it over powered her. How long Nicki could hold on was much too little. They wouldn’t even get to start anything. It all ended before it even started. The thoughts brought more tears to her eyes and she swallowed thickly as she watched his face, nodding once with a small smile as he said he’d love her forever and always. She pursed her lips tightly, staring into deep brown eyes, she had long fallen for. So soft, so serious, so sentimental. She wanted to look into them forever, she wanted this moment to last forever, but she knew the pain on her face was apparent. She knew the clock ticked her last few minutes.

She was cradled into his arms again, staring ahead into nothing as she felt their finger interlacing, and she smiled softly. “I love you, Brey.” She whispered, her voice slowly fading away as did her spark. But her eyes were playing all the memories she had; the happy and the sad ones. The day they met, her brother’s funeral, their first kiss, her brother’s wedding, his brother’s many birthdays. Their first time, soft, sweet, and secretive. Because neither knew if he would come back alive from that war, and they wanted to be linked. And now the memory of the vows, the rings, the last kiss.

Nicki blinked away the last of tears in her eyes, the pain in her chest almost crippling away the words she wanted to say, “Forever and..al..ways..” She managed to breathe out quickly, her hand tightening around his, before her fingers relaxed and just went limp in his. Nicki’s eyes never closed, the last tear falling onto their linked hands as the large hazels turned glassy, lifeless. The last breath escaped out of her lips slowly, tantalizingly before it did. And the last feeling she savored was Aubrey’s arm around her, their hands together…and then she just faded away. Just like that. There she lay, lifeless, in her lover’s arms, forever & always.

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